There are different stages we go through before deciding whether we want to start a relationship or not. During these stages, you learn more about your to-be partner, which can either make you stay or leave. Some people shared their red flags in a partner, so let’s sit back and enjoy.
“I sometimes wonder if this gender is just shameless or fatherless.”
1. Kelly, 22
I don’t think I can ever respect a lady that posts stuff like, “Who will sub for me?” I want this; who will take me out? and other trashy stuff. “I’m not preaching maturity or independence because you can post whatever you want, but shey una no dey shame ni?”
Let’s not forget the ones that bill you with this sense of entitlement. You go dey bill me as if we hustle for the money together. Demanding more than what you know I can afford is even something else. Sometimes, I wonder if this gender is just shameless or fatherless.
“No be you go tell me wetin I go do.”
2. Miniee, 20
A guy who is controlling, domineering, and has anger issues is a big NO for me. I refuse to be told what to do because it makes me do the opposite, no be you go tell me wetin I go do. I don’t understand why you will be telling me what to do when you’re not my father, abegi. I can’t stay with a guy who is hot-tempered before he go slap me con tell me say na mistake because of small argument.
“Pls, I’m not with your lifeline, so how far na.”
3. Motun, 21
I know people will be like, “What do women want?” But why will you call me like 20 times in a day when it’s not as if I’m with your kidney? Please, I am not your lifeline, so how far? Let the calls be moderate; no use call choke me.
I also don’t fancy a guy that talks too much. I like my guys reserved but playful. It’s when they talk too much that they start bragging about unnecessary stuff bruhh rest!
“Of course, I fucked up.”
4. Socrates, 22
I used to like a lady and decided to ask her out as per man wey I be na. I realized I fucked up, of course, I fucked up; who never fuck up hands in the air. When this babe told me that before any guy can talk to her, he has to buy her food first. This thing shock me o because if the ticket to her talking to me is food, what will be the ticket to asking her out on a date Some girls go just dey fall person hand.
Make I no forget o, I no want you if you think afrobeat is local and don’t like anime.
“Actions speak louder than words.”
5. Dara, 21
“I love you” doesn’t hold much value nowadays due to the way people abuse it. I don’t understand how you will love me, and I won’t feel the love. They say that actions speak louder than words. You say it as if it’s a bribe, and you are programmed to do so. ‘I love you’ is supposed to be said when you actually mean it and show it. Don’t even try to tell me “I love you,” when you are just getting to know me because you go explain if love dey jump on person. Words don’t move me; your actions do.
“Be a support, not a liability.”
6. Sam, 24
My main red flag is if a lady is too controllable and can’t make decisions independently. She should have a plan and just need opinions on how to go about it, but expecting me to do everything is out of the question. What I mean by “too controllable” is when a babe listens to basically everything I say, all in the name of love, be a support, not a liability. This might seem weird, but dating me should not stop you from being yourself. I’m saying this because I once dated a lady who, if she had plans to go out with her friends and I told her not to go, this babe would cancel the plans. I also want a lady who can offer her opinion when I seek it, no be the one wey go dey tell me ‘do anything you want to do na.’
“Na boyfriend I talk say I want not hotspot.”
7. Pelumi, 21
I can’t be with a guy with many female friends or a female bestie. Putting the bestie aside, I’m not saying my guy can’t have friends, but some boundaries should never be crossed. For instance, you claim to be his friend but want to stay at his side for a while for “specific reasons.” Please, why can’t you stay with a fellow lady like you? Female besties are like a special breed. Make I no just talk too much, but most of them don’t know how to respect boundaries. A best friend is defined as someone you trust and can confide in, so why can’t your girlfriend be that? Nah boyfriend I talk say I want not hotspot abeg.
“Even though na me wan do Dora the explorer but boss why na.”
8. Bimpe, 20
I once told this guy who wanted me to visit him that when I come to Ibadan, I’ll like to explore the restaurants there, and this guy told me that I should come with my money o if not, I will wash plates. It’s not as if I won’t have my own money, but why will you invite me when you know you don’t have money to spend, even though na me wan do Dora the explorer but boss why na? Not being able to spend is a big red flag abeg.
“Abeg carry your wahala dey go.”
9. Demi, 22
I can’t tolerate a lady with unending mood swings. It’s normal to have mood swings, but not when they’re a daily occurrence. How do you expect me to be focused on living well and also try to figure out the cause of someone’s mood swings every day? I also like my peace of mind, so I don’t have the strength to pamper a moody person every day. No be headache I talk say I want, abeg carry your wahala dey go.
“Pls carry your anger dey go before I wipe you cord.”
10. Donna, 21
Guys that ask if you’ve eaten and all they have to say is ‘Eat something before I get angry o’. Shey me wey never chop no sabi say I suppose chop ni. Please carry your anger dey go before I wipe you cord. It’s not about being cheap, but what does your anger have to do with whether I eat or not, and if you don’t have money, don’t bother asking. Only if it’s a daily occurrence for the lady that we can say her own don too much.
What are your red flags in a potential partner? Let us know in the comments section below
